Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes (Looking back on 2015)


 January was a rough month for me. There was a lot of transitions and uncertainty hitting me from every angle and I definitely wasn't prepared. I just re-read a letter I wrote to myself back in January to be read in December and whoa, was I unhappy. It was actually extremely depressing. But you'd never know it because #socialmedia. Needless to say, the year kept on moving and then it was February.


 In February I got the call that a little school in Oregon called Pacific University wanted to interview me. I flew to Portland and rented a car on my own for the first time and had an absolute blast. I finally felt like my life was moving forward instead of staying stagnant.

 In March I visited with my friend Ashley in the Bay area, received many declines from grad schools and tried to find contentment in staying in California. This was the month I tried to push myself to create a different kind of home in the place I had been calling home for quite some time.

 Finally, in April, after many weeks of waiting, I got the call that I was accepted into Pacific University for grad school!! Not only did I get in somewhere but I got into a school that happens to be somewhere I always knew I would live. From there April was smooth sailing and I was able to enjoy finishing up the Chem and Bio class I was taking and continue working.


 May was a really good month. My best friend Monica came to visit, my sister came home from studying abroad, my bio class ended, and all the puzzle pieces were coming together. I finally felt content in who I was and where I was headed.

 June was a time of peace and relaxation as well as finishing up my chem class. We spent time on the lake, dropped my sister off in Yosemite and I genuinely began to appreciate this time at home.

 July was excellent because we went to our friends house for the 4th and I got to drive up to Portland with my dad and sister to see my new apartment! Everything was coming together and I was able to enjoy summer.

 August was a whole lot of HOLY S*** moments. (pardon my french). I saw Mumford & Sons in concert, I MOVED TO PORTLAND, I started grad school and I ultimately created a home for myself in a brand new city. And man, do I love that city.

 September was filled with chaos, fun, excitement, new opportunities, new friends and a general amazement over all that Oregon has to offer.

 October was like a dream. I got to drive a tractor and visit the most picture perfect pumpkin patch, surprised my sister and see her in her last high school musical, went on an amazing church retreat, and the weather was unreal. Fall in the PNW guys!!!!

 November was great as well. We went hiking through fairy tale lands, I went home for Thanksgiving, got more involved in my church and planned on finishing the semester strong!

 This is my amazing cohort!! I can't mention December without mentioning all of the people who helped me along the way. This grad school thing would not be the same without this group of people. December was filled with holiday parties, spending a lot of time with family and trying my best to relax. It was glorious. ONE SEMESTER DONE!

 2015 played out like two complete novels. The first novel is all about a person completely unsure of herself and what she should do with her life and the second is about someone who is 100% confident she is on the right path. Reading the note I wrote to myself 12 months ago feels like a stranger wrote it to me. (and thank God for that!) She was sad, insecure, frustrated and alone. But even if there was an option to take that sorrow away from her, I wouldn't have done it. I learned more in the first 6 months of 2015 than I may have ever learned before.  

2016 won't be easy. I'm sure it will have its fair share of trials and triumphs and I look forward to each. And I also have the wisdom now of someone who has gone through a 2015 and come out on the other side. 

This space is sporadic and mostly a journal I keep for myself (albeit a very public one at that) but I love that I can read all about what I went through and see how far I've come. And thanks for letting me share it all with you! I don't even know who reads this besides my mom and Grammie (hi guys!) but even if I don't know you, thanks. 

So cheers to 2016!! (insert chilled glass of Chardonnay)

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